


Orange Chapstick

by duckiesandlemons



Category: Kamen Rider Gaim
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Parody, i should feel sorry but i really don't whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-16 07:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1336762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duckiesandlemons/pseuds/duckiesandlemons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryouma could fix this but he'd rather not.  It's all too interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sengoku Incident

**Author's Note:**

> This is a parody of Transformers Kiss Players. Don't read it, it's kind of sort of okay it is bad. We only took the kissing to give powers concept.

Sengoku Ryouma found that he could fix this, it wasn’t too hard, but he realized that he’d rather not.  After all these sorts of situations rarely happened and the data he was receiving was absolutely astounding. 

He made a mark in his notebook next to some other notes, circled one word, and checked another.

He made the drivers, but he didn’t expect that for them to activate that they’d need to kiss Armored Rider Gaim—or, as the files stated, Kazuraba Kouta.  Kazuraba Kouta who sat rather irritated across from him with a furrow to his brow and a pout on his face.  Kazuraba Kouta who was most likely looking for answers as to why this was happening and why him since these drivers _were_ Ryouma’s creations.  Ryouma had ideas, but he wasn’t going to say them just yet.

“You can fix this, right?” Kouta hissed.  “I mean, this isn’t supposed to happen, yeah?”

“It really wasn’t in my designs,” Ryouma tapped his pen on his notebook.  “It is quite vexing all things considered.  I don’t like that my drivers are potentially defective—or could be altered so easily.”

“I hope your ego is big enough that this slight would make you want to fix it.”

Ryouma grinned, “Not really.”

Exasperated, Kouta tipped his head back and sank into the chair he was sitting in.  “I mean, it’s not like it’s gotten too out of hand I mean,” hopeless hand gestures.  “Why do you think this is happening?”

“Well, one, something happened involving Helheim,” that forest always seemed to be two steps ahead of Ryouma right when he thought he figured it out.  “Two, someone tampered with my drivers.  Three, someone really loves me.”

“That last one is not a reason,” Kouta sat upright, giving Ryouma a wary look.

“Of course it is!” Ryouma stood up.  “This is data that I wouldn’t have a chance to gather at any other time, something that I can study and put into practice so that this doesn’t happen again!”  Here he put on the Genesis Driver, inserting the lock seed.  Kouta was looking far from thrilled.

“Yeah, but why me?” he was standing up as well.  “I can transform fine so why do you guys need to kiss me so you can transform?”

“I’ll need to study this more to give you an answer, Kouta,” he purposely drew out Kouta’s name, pressing in the transformation device on the Genesis Driver.  As expected, nothing happened.  A shame since he was hoping that maybe it was just those who used citrus based lockseeds weren't affected by whatever this was; indeed it seemed it was only Kouta who wasn't affected.  With a quick grin and the press of lips to Kouta’s he did it again, this time with the satisfaction of the Driver starting up.

**Lemon Energy—Soda.**

Kouta was bright red, covering his face and pointing an accusing finger at the now armored Duke.

“Shall we continue this study?” the feigned innocence barely covered his ulterior motive.

“N-no way!!” and then Kouta promptly turned heel and left. 

A pity, but there were always other days when no doubt Takatora would call Kouta up to Yggdrasil for another forest raid.  Ryouma could just try again.


	2. The Kumon Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kumon Kaito has become a stubborn, impulsive idiot. All because he was too embarrassed to ask for kisses. Kouta is at least impressed by the politeness--he's not so impressed by the idiocy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it continues--
> 
> Once again this is a parody Kiss Players but only taking the idea of kissing. Don't look Kiss Players up.

Kouta and Kaito needed to have a talk.

A nice long talk about self-preservation instincts, pride, and the ego.

Kouta also needed to tell Takatora that he didn’t want any more calls at three in the morning to go and do a Helheim run, but that was an entirely different matter altogether.  Right now Kouta needed to focus on the Kumon Kaito situation and the fact that Mai called him saying Baron had contacted her about their leader—

Their leader being reckless.

While not surprising in and of itself (Kaito had done crazier things, and Kouta might have been an enabler for a couple) Kouta didn’t want the other rider to _die_.  So he needed to do something.  Or at least make Kaito stop picking fights with Inves and try to beat them bare handed.  That only worked so well and it was obvious that Baron did not like patching up their fight happy leader almost daily.  “So what are you going to do?” Mai asked.  “You know how Kaito is.”

“Obviously I’m gonna kiss him,” Kouta nodded his head (Micchi was turning an interesting shade back there though, hopefully he wasn’t getting ill).  “Or at least try and make him less…broody.”

“Broody?”

“He’s broody, yeah?  Wears black, has that hair swoosh—“

“I think you meant ‘prideful,’ Kouta-san,” Micchi piped in.  Kouta nodded.

“Yeah, that, that,” with that he gave them a wave.  “I’ll be off then!”

Finding Kaito took much longer than Kouta wanted.  It shouldn’t have been hard to find a strength obsessed man in a city that practically thrived on competition as well as suffered Inves attacks.  Baron didn’t even know where he was.  It made Kouta worried because recently, from what Mai knew, Kaito had been trying to fight Inves coming in from Helheim with other Inves.  While Kouta knew Kaito wasn’t an idiot, he also wondered why the thought of Kouta kissing him would drive him that much into a corner.  To be honest, Kouta wouldn’t mind kissing him.

He kind of wanted to know what kissing Kaito would be—

Getting off topic brain, Kouta scolded himself.  He turned down another alley, stopping when he heard the sound of something being toppled over and the familiar shrill cry of Inves.  He quickly put on his belt, bringing out his orange lockseed and rushing in the direction of the noise.

“HENSHIN!”

**Orange Arms!  Through the blossoms to the stage!**

Gaim came bursting through, and like he thought there was Kaito trying to take on a pack of Inves.  “Hey, Kaito!” he shouted, bringing out his sword and rushing in to knock one away.  “What do you think you’re doing!?”

“Stay out of this Kazuraba!” Kaito spat out.

“I can’t!  You’re fighting bare handed!”

“This isn’t the worst—“

“That means you’ve done it before!”Kouta bet some of his own impulsiveness had rubbed off on Kaito—not good.  “I know you’re too prideful to seek help but come on, it’s one sticking kiss!  It doesn’t even have to be on the lips like I found out with Micchi!”

Kaito seemed to turn red, a stutter to his voice, “T-that’s not really it and it’s not really a matter of pride!  I can take care of this myself!”

Gaim smacked down another Inves while Kaito dodged, “Yeah, sure, I know, but it hasn’t been working for you recently.  So what is it!?”

Another dodge, and Gaim hefted Kaito out of the way.

“I can fight on my own,” and Kaito took advantage of his position to kick another Inves back _hard._   “Without transforming.”

“That’s just like what you said earlier!”

“Kazuraba—“

“Kaito are you _embarrassed?_ ”

Kaito fell silent after that.  Realization hit Kouta hard and he sighed.  “Put the belt on, please?” he asked, pleased to see Kaito obey.

“We never speak of this,” Kaito mumbled.

“Yeah, yeah,” and Gaim leaned forward enough for Kaito to press a hesitant kiss to his helm, making a face all the while.

**Banana Arms!  Knight of Spear!**

“We _definitely_ do not talk about this to anyone,” Baron hissed.

“Right, gotcha, my lips are sealed…kind of.”

Gaim ducked to avoid an attack from Baron’s spear, the poor Inves that tried to sneak up behind them taking the hit instead.


	3. The (Younger) Kureshima Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micchi has to fight a little harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parody of Transformers Kiss Players, horrible, don't look it up. Only took the kissing aspect and that's it. :'>
> 
> Also un-beta'd, and the phrase for Micchi's belt I couldn't quite remember ahahahaha--(Was it Dragon Fire?? Ah well Dragon Bang fits this ridiculous vibe I'm rolling with)

Mitsuzane kind of wanted to thank Professor Ryouma for not readily agreeing to fix the belt issue right away.

At the same time Mitsuzane kind of wanted to strangle the other man because having to kiss Kouta meant that transforming would be far and few in between.  It also meant that Kouta would be dragged with Takatora into Helheim every time he needed to be in there which meant less time with Kouta.

What really kind of topped it all off, what _really_ kind of grated Mitsuzane’s nerves, was that with having to kiss Kouta to transform Mitsuzane was denied wonderful on the lips kisses.  The main reason for all of that being they discovered Mitsuzane only needed kisses on the cheek to transform.  Ones where Kouta just had to press his lips to the delicate arch of Mitsuzane’s cheek, linger there for a few seconds, and when he pulled away Mitsuzane could transform into Ryuugen just fine.

Mitsuzane had been fine with it at first, understanding Kouta’s fidgetiness and general unease with being the sole source of power Riders now had to go to.  If he were in Kouta’s shoes he’d feel the same way, but after seeing Kouta willingly give kiss after kiss after—

Ah, this is what they call jealousy.

Mitsuzane tried to school himself back to his normal façade.  He tried to not show each irritated twitch of the eye whenever Kaito would come by just to quickly press his lips to Kouta and then be off on whatever lock seed gathering agenda he had.  He tried not to get too envious of his brother every time Kouta’s phone went off and the orange lock seed user left with a small mumble of Ygdrassil’s name. These were things Mitsuzane tried to damper, push far back as to not interfere with his current designs, but each day it got harder and harder.

“Kouta-san,” he said one day, approaching the other with his typical gait.

“Ah, Micchi,” and Kouta had that brilliant smile on.

“A crack opened up nearby, Mai-san’s called you already I presume?”

“Of course! I was just on my way!”

“Then shall we go together?”

Like always, Kouta would administer the kiss before the fight so they wouldn’t get distracted during battle.  He’d lean in, aiming for Mitsuzane’s cheek, but today—

Today Mitsuzane was having none of that.

“Hold on.” Mitsuzane brought his hand to Kouta’s chest to stop him.  “I think there might be a way for you to give me a bit more power to transform so you don’t have to kiss me for me to change lock seeds mid battle.”

Kouta looked genuinely curious, “Yeah?”

And Mitsuzane tilted his head just so to press his lips firmly against Kouta’s.  Kouta tensed, obviously shocked by Mitsuzane’s forwardness, but the young teen didn’t care.  He was just pleased to finally feel Kouta’s lips pressed against his—

Ah, that had been nice.

Kouta had responded, pressed back tentatively before the two parted.

“I-I don’t think it quite works like that?” Kouta mumbled, a little flushed.

Mitsuzane smiled, a saccharine one, and put the belt on, “We can only see.”

**Grape Arms! Dragon Bang! Ha, ha, ha!**

Mitsuzane will just have to work harder from here on out.


End file.
